Friday, January 16, 2009

Sumdood strikes at education

Sumdood (in concert with his cousins, Sumgai and Sumwon) has been running around telling studious, hardworking college students they can keep their scholarships, even though they have failed most of their courses and/or have failed to maintain a 2.0 GPA. It has been left to me to inform them that no, a .865 does not satisfy the TOPS requirements, nor is it good enough for the scholarship we gave them at the start of their college careers. I've had many a conversation that go like this:

Feckless Student: "Uh, so, like why is my housing scholarship gone?"
Me: "Name, please?"
FS: "John."
Me: "Full name and student ID?"*
FS: "John Doe."
Me: [searching records] "It's because you failed to meet the retainment requirements. They're in the middle of removing scholarships right now, if you refresh the screen you'll see the other half of your scholarship has been removed as well."**
FS: "...oh."

*Yes, I have to remind students to identify themselves. No one teaches phone etiquette anymore. No one teaches any other kind of etiquette either, but that's beside the point. "Hi, this is so-and-so, calling because of __________)." It's not. that. hard.
**Yes, I say it just like that. No, I don't care if I hurt their feelings. I'm dead inside.


justme2575 said...

Oh, you're not dead inside! You know you enjoy correcting stupid people!

majgross said...

Don't say you're dead inside! That hurts! I deal with grownups that get lost on the way to work and they are in charge of a country. I just find it amusing!

KCTbiglake said...

I still want to know how old does a person have to be, to be a GROWN-UP?

Angela said...

That would be 18, traditionally the age associated with achieving the wisdom to be independent (i.e. 'wisdom teeth'); it's also the age that our culture deems a person to be old enough for military service and voting.

Unfortunately, the infantilization of young adults for the last few decades has screwed everything up, so childhood lasts well into the twenties. Instead of taking responsibility for poor parenting, people have chosen to accept childish and irresponsible behavior in adults as normal, rather than a consequence of our culture.

Red Rover said...

I loved this post, especially since it introduced me to the EMT's blog and the infamous Sumdood!

Angela said...

Isn't he great? I never before realized how thoroughly Sumdood had infiltrated society. AD is a national treasure for bringing this to our attention.