Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Achieving a new sense and feel for the day most singles detest!
From blissfully single Kate's log:
As the dreaded day for most singles approaches, I realized I needed to think this one out. For a very long time I harbored relentless bitterness and hate for V-Day, in fact I joined every 'hate Valentines Day' group on Facebook a few years ago, only to later realize that no matter how many groups I joined, no one participated in them and I wasn’t going to get any kind of satisfaction from it.
Valentines Day has got to be probably one of the most depressing days on the calendar for most singles, so I realized I had to address it, because being happy as a single becomes very hard to do the closer the day approaches. I’d like to provide a little advice on how you can avoid all the miserable feelings that society tries to evoke in singles on that day and all the weeks leading up to it, and how to embrace the day and see why the day actually has a lot of positive things about it for singles.
For years I celebrated the day with my family as I grew up, as I got older I started to hate what the day represented, I started to resent its implications and its demands. Now I’m trying to embrace it, and have realized its potential, and the advantages the day brings to singles.
In my youth it was a fun activity to make things for each member of my family, but I started to lose that spirit once I reached my late teens, and than began hating the day profusely. I even hated it when I was in relationships, only because most all my relationships I was in during that time of year were long distance or some other issue. I realized later, that I just wanted to hide the fact that I wanted something from someone on that day, I wanted to be taken out, I wanted someone to give me flowers, but I was a rebel and had to prove to myself that I “did not care“ if no one did anything special for me on that day, and I know I was not alone in this mind set. I know of several singles who feel the same way, but try to hide it, and choose to hate the day rather than embrace it. The fact is, we are expected to hate it, and we are expected to only be happy with that holiday if we are in a relationship with someone, but society and its rules should never rule how we feel about any holiday, or our singleness.
The benefits of this day started to become more and more clear to me just in this past year. Valentines Day is a day that was originally created for “lovers”, but it has evolved into more of a day of just “love” period, and if we consider true love, it would probably throw out half the “lover’s” relationships out of the boat and celebrate the love parents have for their kids, and kids have for their parents and siblings have for each other, and close friends.
If you want to celebrate on that day, don’t think for one minute you have to do it with a date or have some sort of romantic time with someone. Take a single friend out for fun, or a family member and get them something if you want to. The best part of it is, you're not required to, and no one is expecting anything out of you when you're single. No demands, no expectations, only a time for you to get creative and brighten a few people’s day by showing them the day can be for everyone.
Think of all the wives or girlfriends who expect something big from their spouses or boyfriends, and how it could get messy if he fails to meet expectations, and in turn she really does have to get him a little something. Of course not all relationships are like that, but these are some benefits of being single that we should appreciate until we do find that special someone. As a single you are free from anyone expecting or demanding anything out of you. You have the choice to give as you please to those whom you love and appreciate in your life that are not expecting anything from you on that day.
Now, my favorite part of this day has created another holiday for me. Its only this time of year that they make an incredible amount of chocolates, with Valentines themed boxes, putting them in the category of “must get rid of” the day after. The 15th of February is in and of itself a holiday for me. All Valentines Day chocolates at Kmart and all over go 50%-75% off. I like to think how I was not required to purchase anyone anything for the day before at an exuberant price, because I was not tied to the requirements of the day, and can celebrate the great feeling of a sweet deal and enjoy all the chocolates I want the day after. This does not happen any other time of the year. I love the 15th and I always look forward to it, it helps with ignoring all the hype of having a date or a special someone on the 14th, because you now have turned the 15th into a holiday that most people don’t realize is way more fun to celebrate.
As a single, you are not tied to the requirements of the 14th, and you can even take time out to show your appreciation for family and friends. You can save some money, and indulge yourself and others in chocolate you can afford the following day, thanks to the hyped up holiday the day before. Don’t let the world tell you how you should feel on that day, or how you should feel any time of the year as a single. As Angela and I have pointed out many times, this blog is not against marriage, but for being happy while you are single, so that you can enjoy every aspect of life, and not worry if you will find someone special or not, because when you worry, then you close your eyes to so many wonderful things out there that you could be doing and achieving.
I hope you all have a Happy Valentines Day this year and that you can find a way of expressing your love for your family and friends on that day, and remember, singleness does not equal loneliness!