Monday, March 23, 2009

Don't be a target, build that confidence!

From Blissfully Single Kate's log:

As a Single, there will be more individuals out there targeting you as someone to take advantage of. It’s a horrid fact but unfortunately true.

Someone on their own running their own business or just out living life are more likely targets for asset strippers, people tricking you into co-signing your property over to them, rapists, robbers, insecure abusive singles, to a million other things.

How to avoid this is up to you, for one, overcoming your own insecurities with your own singleness and with who you are. Becoming a confident individual makes you ten times less of a target, becoming more alert of your surroundings, securing yourself financially and getting out of debt as quickly as possible, and even just improving your nutritional health.

I write this blog with Ange for the purpose of preventing the things that have happened to me and others we know from happening to you.

The first and foremost thing to keep those from you, who desire to take advantage of you, is to boost your confidence. As my Karate instructor reminds us often, it’s the first impression you leave with someone that affects your future with that individual. Always greet each and every person you meet in a firm handshake and with an air of confidence (not arrogance) that shows them you are sure of yourself and know how to take care of yourself and that no one is going to take advantage of you. It’s amazing the message you send people when you greet them with a generous grip and confident smile as opposed to a weak handshake and timid eyes. It is so important that you find that inner happiness in your singleness and not let it bring you down, because from the way you walk to the way you greet others determines for others whether you are a good target for their evil intentions or not.

Improving ones nutrition and some self defense classes may be all that is needed to gain such confidence, but it may take more than just those two things to help you pick yourself up.
Maybe you need to attack your debt, or it’s possible you are still struggling with the emotions of having bad relationships and people who have been taking advantage of you already.

Now is the time to become confident and to stop taking the abuse. Now is the time to find the happiness in who you are and take your passions and make them your priority. Boost yourself with a shot of confidence and take a break from the dating world. Take some personal time out and stop worrying about whether you will get married or not. Leave the worrying up to tomorrow and take on today with a new outlook on life. Stop letting people think you’re insecure and unhappy with who you are and what you have in life. Stop making yourself a target for others.

The world paints singles as insecure enough already, we don’t need to add to the hype by actually being insecure.

Singleness does not equal loneliness!

Note: New Side bars to right of column, for nutritional advice and getting out of debt from Kate.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Pop culture and Singles!

From Blissfully Single Kate's log:

Singleness is only “hard” if you think it is and allow the world to tell you how you should think.

Few films and shows out there actually condone being totally single and not putting yourself on the meat market as so many shows out there encourage.

I am always on the search for a message from any film nowadays that does not condone single men and women dating perpetually and giving their heart out over and over again till pretty much they believe that is all life is about, and that no one person can be happy for a minute without having to be with someone in some capacity or other.

Uptown Girls is a movie that few may realize has probably one of the strongest messages in teaching single girls and guys to stand on their own two feet and stop depending on a relationship to supply them with all the things they think they need emotionally in life. I recommend it for those still struggling to let go of depending on having some kind of relationship to make them feel significant or emotionally satisfied.

There are singles of all ages, but the brainwashing of society starts young. While I like to target all ages, I realize that to catch the attention of the younger ages, I must intentionally speak to them in particular.

While young single girls and guys may think “oh I have it all going for me and I don’t have to learn about being happy single, because I won’t be single for much longer” are certainly walking a dangerous path of thoughts.

There are those of us, who need to get out of the down trodden thoughts society has injected into us since the beginning of our dating years. We have a greater challenge to overcome such thoughts because of the extent of the exposure we have suffered from such a mind set of pop culture in comparison to those who are just now stepping off into such a civilization for the first time.

Being single is not bad, it’s not evil, it’s not wrong, and it by no means says anything about us. Let us determine what speaks for us, not some status that the world has labeled as “OLD MAID”, “Lonely single”, or any other negative connotation that would imply there is something wrong with us.

Rarely do people see a “single” as someone other than someone with a need to be dating or married. What about our character, our talents, our amazing minds? They just go by the way side; because they become attributes and reasons for someone to date us for, rather than attributes that can achieve great things. Let us do great things, and marry that special person when love comes our way or not. The more time you spend in actually achieving great and wonderful things, the less time you have to worry about if you will meet the love of your life or not. How many times have you heard a friend tell someone they should be dating someone based on all the attributes they both have and how they would fit based on that?

While it’s not wrong to find someone with a great mind to date or marry, it just should not be pursued like a hunt for the perfect costume come Halloween.

If finding a love partner for the rest of your life is your only goal in life and if you feel that you are nothing without that, than you have sold yourself short, and will continue down a path of negative thoughts about yourself and those around you. I want you to be happy as an individual and for you to find the success that embracing a single life has to offer before dating again or getting married.

Challenge yourself to find new goals new passions or maybe emphasize the ones you have already over the goal of finding someone to be in a relationship with. Even if the goal is just finding yourself!

If you don’t have friends to surround you, then go out there and find some, if you don’t have family to surround you then find friends willing to be like family.
Singleness does not equal loneliness!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Singles Must Learn Self Defense!

From blissfully single Kate’s log:
The video is of a basic kata in shorin-ryu karate

For years I had wanted to learn some form of self defense and to have more assurance that if ever in a dangerous situation that I could get out of it.

I have now finally taken up some Karate classes offered at my local community center, a type of Shorin ryu that comes out of Okinawa. The sensei who teaches the class is so far very good, and has a patient demeanor. Some very interesting but very good points he made the other night made me realize some very important things.

While many agree that women, especially women living on their own should learn some form of self defense, few understand the importance of guys learning self defense in today’s very crazy world.

People don’t just attack women now days, but also men. It may be hard to think about, but it happens, and Singles especially should be learning how to defend themselves. It’s important to remember that not all attackers travel alone and most likely there will be someone who is bigger than you and or more skilled in harming you than you are at protecting yourself.

Most any form of Karate teaches you how to use your body as a mechanical tool rather than brute force to protect yourself, because not everyone has massive muscle. It teaches you how to overcome anyone of any size no matter your amount of muscle or lack thereof.

I encourage you to find a good instructor that teaches a good form of practical self defense in your area. It’s always best to do a little research on what style might be best for you, and of course finding someone you can afford.
For those of you in the Colorado Springs area, my instructor’s link’s are below and all his qualifications. If you are interested just let him know that Blissfully Single Kate sent you his way, he will give you the first 2 weeks of lessons completely free.

Kyoshi Jeff Ader, PhD 7th Degree Black Belt: Phone # (719) 232-1882

Angela also takes a course in self defense called Krav Maga:

Knowing self-defense is something everyone should be concerned with. No one has the right to hurt you, ever.
~ Michael Janich~

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it
~ Douglas William Jerrold~