Blissfully Single

On Twilight (again)

2010-11-20T15:41:00.000-06:00

I've recently read several Twilight reviews, where the series was defended pretty much solely because Bella and Edward abstain from pre-marital sex.

I've read the whole series. They were neither as good nor as bad as they're made out to be (the writing, that is), although I didn't find anything especially original about them. My only reason for reading them was to see for myself if the Bella-Edward relationship is really abusive, since that was the chief complaint I heard. I just want to make this clear: when someone pins you to a bed to stop you from seeing someone they don't approve of, you are being controlled, and it is a form of abuse. When someone sabotages your car to prevent your free movement around town, you are being controlled, and it is a form of abuse. It doesn't matter if it's 'for your own good'. Abusers nearly always have reasons for their actions, and 'for your own good' is a pretty popular one.

Abstinence is great, and I'm all for encouraging role-models who promote a responsible lifestyle; but no relationship is worth the price if the cost is being controlled, and taking insane, dangerous risks to sneak around the limitations you're under.

Adventures in Dorm Cooking

2010-11-20T15:10:00.001-06:00

Unlike Kate (and, I'm assuming, the majority of on-campus college students), I have a kitchen. A tiny one with just a range top, fridge and sink, but a kitchen nonetheless. My roommates and I have augmented this with a slow-cooker, hand-mixer, three French presses (we take our coffee seriously), and last but not least, a convection oven given to a roommate by a lady at her synagogue. Lately I've committed myself to getting my grocery spending under control, by both planning menus and making as much as I can from scratch. Having a slow-cooker is a big help in this: I can make one meat-based meal (whole chicken, roast, chicken parm, whatever) at the beginning of the week, and I'll get anywhere from 4-6 meals out of it. I also eat a lot of eggs and rice dishes. My favorite made-it-myself money-saver is butter:

This isn't that much of a money saver for me; I figure I break even (unless stores run out of my brand of butter, and then it's way cheaper to make), but it tastes so much better than store bought, so it's worth the effort. It's also nice to not be dependent on stores for my butter: for a couple weeks at the beginning of the month, we couldn't find our cheap butter anywhere. We joked that the cows must have gone on strike. Later we learned the cows had become dehydrated, and really had gone on strike. It turns out making butter is one of the simplest things you can do in your kitchen: two cups whipping cream (highest fat content you can find) at room temperature, mix in a bowl with a stand-mixer (10-15 minutes) or hand-mixer (~~forever~~30-45 minutes); when the butter milk separates, drain it out and give the butter a stir to make sure there isn't any milk still inside; rinse it under slowly running cool water, and place in a container. It makes a little more than a cup of butter, plus buttermilk you can bake with.

You can mix a half-teaspoon of salt in if you want, or try a variety of flavored-butter recipes. Last week one of my roommates put garlic and basil in hers, and it was wonderful. This week I'm going to use this recipe to make honey-cinnamon butter. It makes about a week's worth, which is about how long I was told it will last before going bad.

My latest accomplishment (from tonight, and the real potluck recipe):

Home made pizza: I made both the dough and the sauce myself. By the way, the sauce isn't watery as it appears in the picture, you just need to stir it occasionally. I made this so I would have lunch for the week, but it would be great for a party where you want mini-pizzas for everyone. Making them would be especially fun for a kid's party, too.

Sauce recipe:

1 can tomato sauce
1/2 teaspoon onion powder (we don't have onion powder, so I used a quarter of a small onion, chopped finely)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon chili powder (will not make the sauce spicy, just gives it a little zing)
1 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon basil

I like to warm the sauce a little in a pot, and then add all the ingredients at once. Let it simmer for a while (there's not really a science to it, just until the kitchen smells like pizza).

The dough recipe I found online, but I lost the link, so if you recognize it please let me know:

2.25 teaspoons yeast
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1.5 cups warm water

1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 1/3 cups flour

Olive oil to spread on the oven pan.

Mix the yeast, brown sugar, and warm water in a bowl; let sit for 10 minutes. Mix in the salt and olive oil, and then mix in 2.5 cups of flour. Knead in the remaining flour, cover with a towel, and let sit for one hour. For the rolling-out process, make sure everything is well-floured! I would recommend rolling the dough on wax paper, but since we don't have any, I rolled it out on a cutting board. I used a 7-inch bowl to cut out circles (only the last two turned out circular, because that's how long it took me to really flour the board). After removing the excess dough, I flipped the cutting board over the oven pan, because the dough isn't stiff enough to be scraped up with a spatula. I can't remember if spreading olive oil on the oven pan, was required in the recipe, but I did it anyway (but only once, with the first pizza; none of the others stuck after that). Bake for 15-20 minutes (it only took 15 for mine) without toppings, at 425 Fahrenheit (220 C). After you remove it, put all your toppings on and bake until the cheese is gooey.

You're going to make a huge mess. Accept this before you even begin:

This recipe made seven mini-pizzas for me, although I think I could have made several more if I had rolled the dough out more (but rolling dough is my least favorite part). I ate one pizza tonight, put three crusts in the fridge, and froze the other three (I'll let you know how well they freeze). As you can see, your pizzas aren't going to look like restaurant made ones, but they'll be crunchy and delicious!

Between this and the roast I'm making Monday, I'll have leftovers for long after Thanksgiving! Speaking of Thanksgiving, my roommates and I are hosting a Thanksgiving potluck for several (around 20) of the other American graduate students, so I hope to have another post for the next Saturday potluck as well!

Apologies

2010-10-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

Between illness in Kate's and Ginny's family, and deaths in mine, we've rather let the blog go ignored. However, Kate mentioned this past week that she has two posts she wants me to edit before she posts them, and I'm planning to post my latest travel adventures, so hopefully we can pick up and get moving again.

In parting, I'll leave you with this link: How to get married.

לחיים

2010-09-17T08:34:00.000-05:00

The spread.

Dessert: Kosher chocolate mousse made by a roommate

My roommates and I had a potluck Wednesday, and invited a bunch of students from our language classes. I think we invited between twenty and twenty-five people, and about twelve turned up. We were a little relieved that only half the invitees came, because it was pretty crowded with just the seventeen of us! My contribution to dinner was a crockpot chicken:

-one whole chicken
-some kind of spice from the market*
-two onions
-three potatoes
-half a liter of sprite

Since I don't like wine (and can't find bouillon flavoring anywhere), I used sprite as the liquid for my chicken. One of the onions I cubed and smeared with the chicken seasoning, and then put inside the chicken. The other one, with the potatoes, I cubed at arranged around the chicken in the sprite. It cooked on high for four hours, and was falling off the bones while I carved it.

Everyone had a great time, and aside from when I accidentally un-Koshered someone's pot lid, everything went well. We're definitely going to do this again, and I'm hoping to do a beignets-and-coffee day later in the semester.

*I asked the counter guy at the spice store what was good for chicken, and he waved something under my nose. It smelled good, so I bought it.

שלום

2010-09-09T06:56:00.000-05:00

Hello, world, and many happy greetings from Israel. Learning Hebrew is exhausting, especially when you spend 25 hours a week in class. I'm very happy to say I'm enjoying Israel very much, despite the tone set by my departure from America. First, the travel agency I booked my flight with (through the university, a group flight with other students) was so late in mailing out our travel packets that I never actually got mine, and had to meet a representative from the agency at the airport to get my necessary travel vouchers. The representative waited until the very last minute before we were required to check our baggage to show up, and then was surprised to learn I needed anything from her, and seemed confused as to why I should want the documents she had promised me both in e-mail and over the phone. Then take-off was delayed by about an hour while security did who-knows-what. And then, to top it all off, when we arrived in Israel, the school officials had us fill out the paperwork they had already mailed or e-mailed to us, which I had already taken the time to mail/fax back to them. Nearly everything was chaotic and disorganized in some way. However, once I settled into my dorm (and threw away my big suitcase, which gave in to old-age on the flight over and had to be literally dragged across the ground to my dorm), I started to feel slightly calmer.

That disappeared as soon as ulpan (Hebrew classes) started the next day. We are three-quarters of the way through ulpan, and three-quarters of the way through our text book, and somewhere around the second week I started looking for a tutor. This is where my major (and pretty much only) problem with Israel arises: people seem either annoyed or baffled when you ask for help. When I asked my teacher if the university had tutoring for students, she looked at my like I'd sprouted another head, but did take me up to the language office to get the information. It turned out their tutoring is just another class you go to after ulpan, though, so one of our wonderful activities coordinators found an Israeli student willing to tutor me one-on-one. In short, my life since August 3 has been one of constant studying, with a few exceptions: the coordinators took us on a 'practical' tour of Jerusalem, and then later to the שוק (outdoor market, where we do most of our grocery shopping); and last week they took us on a tour of the Old City, where I got to visit the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

Right now we're on vacation for Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Year), which our teachers celebrated by giving us a take-home exam, with plenty of homework on the side. One of my classmates invited me to her home for dinner tonight: she's married to an Israeli and they have a home off-campus.

More to come, but for now שלום ושנה טובה!

All my bags are packed...

2010-08-01T00:18:00.000-05:00

~~and I'm ready to go~~ already gone. I spent the past week in South Carolina, first for a dear friend's wedding, and then just to hang out with people I hadn't seen in years. It was a great week, and exactly the kind of relaxation I needed before this big trip. I'm sitting in Newark airport in New Jersey now, and my flight out to Israel isn't until 2:15 pm (it's 1:16 am now). I wish I could have had more time to visit with more people, but that's the way things go.

Back soon

2010-05-12T12:29:00.002-05:00

Off to Mississippi to see our new niece, and pack Kate out of her dorm. We'll be back Friday, when Kate promises she'll start blogging again.

Then do it already

2010-05-07T22:03:00.000-05:00

I know a couple of women on Facebook, who regularly post status updates about how awful their jobs are, how their lives are so dull, and so on and so forth. This has been going on for months, and I keep wondering if it can really be that bad, because if it were, surely they would have made some changes in their lives by now? Sadly, many people are content to sit around and wait for things to happen to them, rather than going out and making things happen.

It's kind of a foreign concept to me. The little city I live in is lovely: it has all the charm of a small town, but plenty of the perks of a city (like 24 hour cafes). However, it isn't the place I want to spend the rest of my life, so I went and found someplace else to go.

Something we've discussed often here, or you might say is the whole reason for this blog, is making the most of your single years. We're big supporters of dreaming big (why dream any other way?). However, it isn't enough to say "I'm going to climb Mt. Everest!" You can spend your whole life wanting to climb Mt. Everest, just like my friends have spent years waiting for their lives and jobs to suddenly get better, but it won't get you any closer to your goals. The goal this sort of behavior is most prevalent with is earning a college degree. Nowadays you can spend seven or eight years in college without getting a degree, and in the cases I see most often, it's because student don't sit down with a curriculum sheet to review what classes they need, what they've already taken, and what classes are going to be available in future semesters.

It only took me three years to get a college degree, because I knew what I wanted: a college degree, and the 'college experience'. I took fifteen hours worth of CLEP tests (equivalent of five classes); took eighteen hours (six classes) two semesters in a row; and took two classes my second summer (and I still kick myself for not taking classes my first summer).

Let's say you do have a dream of climbing Mt. Everest. What would your to-do list look like? Train. Start setting aside money (it costs anywhere from $25 to $60 grand). Train. Learn to mountaineer. Train some more. It may take you a decade or so to do it, depending on when you get started and how dedicated you are to saving money, but it is achievable.

Most people have dreams that aren't quite as grand as that: maybe travel to a dream destination, own your own home, be debt free. These are all attainable, and if you know where to look there are plenty of people willing to tell you how they accomplished the exact same goals.

The biggest first step is to simply stop thinking about what you're going to do some day, and start thinking about what you can do right now. Right now, I can find out whether I need a visa to visit X country. I can find out when the high- and low-seasons are, and how much hotel prices fluctuate, how much plane tickets are. If traveling independently seems too intimidating for you, then all you really need to do is save your money, because there are plenty of travel agencies willing to do the leg work for you.

The most important thing to remember is that everything is so much simpler than people imagine it to be.

May the Fourth be with you

2010-05-04T00:33:00.000-05:00

We (Ginny and I) are big fans, and are happy to be participating in International Star Wars Day. I will happily be bombarding my Facebook friends with Star Wars quotes via my status updates, and generally encouraging people to get their geekitude on. If you've already seen the movies, it's time to start on the books (known as the Expanded Universe). The EU ranges from some of the best to some of the worst books I've ever read, but the caliber of the good authors keeps me coming back.

"They came for Han and Leia in the quietest hour of the night, rushing into their bedchamber and leveling blasters before the two of them could stagger out of bed. Han stared into the bright light affixed to the rifles. 'What is the meaning of this?' he asked. [...] The leader of the intruders, only a silhouette behind the lights, answered, 'Han Solo, Leia Organa Solo, you are charged with falsification of iidentification, smuggling, entering Aphran space on flase pretenses, and crimes against the state.'
'Is that all?' Han offered them a dismissive wave. 'That's only a couple of hours worth of crimes.'"
---------------------------------------------
Jag: Would you be offended by a personal question?
Kip: That seems unlikely, go ahead.
Jag: Why is Jaina Solo so mad at you?
An irrational flicker of irritation shimmered through the Jedi Master. "Oh, that. It's a long story with a number of sordid chapters. Why don't you ask her yourself?"
"Two reasons. First, I don't wish to intrude upon personal matters. Second, I suspect that you did resent that question," observed Jag, "and I suspect that sending me to Jaina is your way of ensuring that I'm suitably punished for my presumption."
---------------------------------------------------------
"Mara Jade!" Luke called. "What did I do to deserve the honor of your presence?"
"You don't deserve it, Skywalker," Mara said, "but I came anyway."
------------------------------------------------------------
"Every living thing must continue to learn until it dies. Those who cease to learn, die that much sooner." Luke Skywalker.
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"Lando got back from Coruscant alive, so being Calrissian he's having a party for family and friends. And friends of friends, and anyone who looks interesting." -Jag Fel
----------------------------------------------------
"I'll need communications access to Talon Karrde, Danni's device, a starfighter squadron, maybe a Jedi or two, and a lot of brandy. I can't stress the brandy part enough." Lando
---------------------------------------------------
"What's your name, little fellow?" the shop owner asked.
The words THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS appeared on the screen. IN ANY CASE, YOUR FACIAL FEATURE SET SUGGESTS THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE THE INTELLIGENCE TO RETAIN MY NAME FOR MORE THAN A NANOSECOND. IT IS EVIDENT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO REPEAT SOUNDS YOU HAVE HEARD AND THAT YOU UNDERSTAND NEITHER THE WORDS YOU HEAR NOR THE ONES THAT EMERGE FROM YOUR MOUTH.
---------------------------------------------------
"Pray me you are not one of the gods," Rapuung muttered. "If you are, death will be tedious."
-------------------------------------------------------
"It has to do with this bizarre concept called democracy..." -Nom Anor
--------------------------------------------------------
"Despite your adventures, I fear you have insufficient experience of depravity." -Vergere

Not what was advertised

2010-04-30T16:31:00.000-05:00

"19 Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person" turns out to be more like nineteen things you should never say to someone who has just been dumped. Out of the handful that did seem to be aimed at true singles, only a few of them seemed to fit the 'never say that to me' level of obnoxiousness the article seemed to be going for:

-So, why are you single? Well, there are a multitude of reasons, most of which are too long and detailed to get into in a making-small-talk conversation. Not that it matters, you don't actually care about why I'm single, you're just being nosy.

-Wow, I wish I was single and in your shoes! Why? Aren't you happy in your relationship?

-Some guy is going to come along and ruin your career/life plans. This one just confuses me. If you give up something you've been planning to do for a relationship, presumably you would only do it for an awesome guy. Just because you want to do something now doesn't mean you'll always want to do it.

-But you're so pretty! Why don't you have a boyfriend? Because looks aren't everything?

I've noticed a distinct lack of sites and articles out there for people who want to be happy single. Everything I've found so far is about how to kick things up a notch in the dating world or how to move your casual relationship to a more serious one (but not marriage, because marriage is rushing things for some reason). I do have a book I'm planning on reviewing here, called 'Flying Solo.' It's a travel book recommending places for single women to visit, so we'll see how that goes.

Hey look, fans! Hi, fans.

2010-04-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

I just arrived home from visiting friends in Mississippi, the Land With No Internet I mentioned in a previous post. Since Kate was hanging out with us most of the time, it meant two out of your three authors were unable to keep up with the blog. Still, a good time was had by all, and I was pleased to look at our fan-box and see some new faces.

Have you ever had that vague feeling in the back of your head, that you're forgetting to do something? I've been walking around with that feeling for days, except in my case I have so many things to do (visas, plane tickets, packing, CASA, etc) that trying to pin-point any one thing is slightly nerve wracking. This is why I find comfort in making lists and spreadsheets, and they shall see me through this trying time.

In other news, brought to us by the Headmistress, it seems American women spend an average of 12 thousand dollars on beauty care/maintenance. Put down the make-up ladies, step away from the Botox, and learn to do your own nails. Yeegads.

Anyhow, enough about me. If you recently found/fanned Blissfully Single, leave a comment please, and introduce yourself!

Our thoughts and prayers...

2010-04-22T17:04:00.000-05:00

...go out to the Gulf Coast families of the workers who did not make it off the oil rig after the explosion. Now that it has sunk into the Gulf, authorities have given up any hope that they could have survived.

Noms for groups and singles alike.

2010-04-22T15:15:00.000-05:00

The Common Room blog is participating in a recipe share with three other blogs, and they're all very interested in what recipes their readers use to feed large numbers of people. Generally speaking, I am the least of the cooks in my family (I didn't really start cooking real meals until I was at least 18), but I do cook well, and have a few favorites I go to when we're feeding a lot of people, the main one being jambalaya:

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
olive oil for browning the chicken
1 package sausage
1 small onion, chopped
1 small bell pepper, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 teaspoon chopped garlic
1 tablespoon parsley flakes
1 fifteen oz can diced tomatoes
1 chicken boullion cube
1 cup water
1/2 cup rice

My jambalaya usually doesn't include celery or parsley, the first because I don't really care for it, the latter because I don't think it makes a difference.

First: chop all your veggies, put them in a bowl and set aside.

Second: Cut up all the chicken in to bite size pieces. My recipe says to season with creole seasoning at this point, however I have always thought the bell peppers add enough natural spice, so I just lightly salt/pepper the chicken. Put it in your pot to brown in the olive oil.

Third: While the chicken is browning, cut up the sausage into quarter or half inch slices, and add it to the chicken.

Fourth: Once the chicken is brown, add the veggies, mix well and saute for about 10 minutes.

Fifth: Add the tomatoes, parsley, boullion cube, and water. Let cook over medium heat for about ten minutes.

Sixth: Add the rice, bring to a boil, reduce the heat to low/low-med, cover and cook for 20 minutes, stirring at least once during this time.

You may need to add a little water when you start the rice, if there isn't enough water for the rice to be submerged in. By the time the rice is done, the liquids should be mostly gone. As is, this recipe will feed about 6 or 7 people without leaving leftovers. You can easily expand it to fit your family's size by adding to the main ingredients (chicken, sausage, rice).

Why is this a good recipes for singles? Because a single woman living alone can live off it for about a week, without having to do too much other cooking, as I discovered in the wake of Hurricane Rita.

Check out the other recipes being shared at the Common Room!

Exciting news!

2010-04-16T17:54:00.000-05:00

I am please to announce that I have been accepted to the Hebrew University of Jerusalem's graduate school, Rothberg International! I will be moving to Jerusalem at the end of July, after a friend's wedding. Words can't describe how excited I am, to be moving somewhere new, and to study a new language in its home country (I'll be memorizing the Hebrew alphabet this summer, in preparation for the language training I start in August.) This is all doubly exciting for me because this is my second attempt at visiting Israel: I was supposed to study abroad there for a week January of 2009, but the plans fell through (and the organizer wasn't able to fully explain why). Now I'll be living there, with Egypt and Petra at my fingertips!

A Guidebook...

2010-04-14T21:18:00.000-05:00

...on how not to live your life. I've been watching Friends reruns, and while I certainly enjoy the show, I don't think the producers could have tried harder to create a cast of characters who make one wrong decision after another in an attempt to make themselves as unhappy as possible, even if they planned it that way.

Back in the 21st Century (a weekend in pictures)

2010-04-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

Before:

During:

After:

Later on:

Today:

Well, so much for that

2010-04-08T15:41:00.000-05:00

In the midst of my 'one post a day' commitment (which I have already failed to live up to), I'm taking a trip to Podunk, MS, otherwise known as the Land Without Internet. I hope y'all have a great weekend. I know I certainly will, since Kate and I will be getting together to shoot guns, eat brisket over a fire, and study Dante's Inferno.

Introduction

2010-04-06T15:08:00.000-05:00

Kate and I are happy to introduce our new writer, Ginny. Ginny is Kate's older sister, attending graduate school in North Carolina. We look forward to having her write with us, and are sure she has a lot to offer.

With three of us writing, hopefully we'll have content on a regular basis. I'm trying to commit myself to at least one post a day (and this introduction doesn't count for today).

'For never was a story of more woe...

2010-04-05T16:56:00.001-05:00

...than this of Juliet and her Romeo.'

I was led to this article by another blog; it was published a couple months ago, but I just noticed it within the last couple of weeks. I have to wonder if the author, Andrew Trees, and I read the same play.

I think the article is a good example of someone missing the point-but still being spot on. His basic argument is that we have been misled by Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet; that by holding up their romance as the ideal, we've encouraged people to engage in hormone-driven romantic whirlwinds that can't and don't last. I guess no one pointed out to him that Romeo and Juliet is not a romance: it's one of Shakespeare's tragedies. Shakespeare never intended for those idiot children (and they truly are children, only between 13 and 17 years old) to be held up as the pinnacle of romance. It's a story about people making one wrong decision after another, after another, drawn out to it's logical conclusion: death and devastation for everyone concerned.

That being said, I do think people have let this version of love gain too much ground in our culture. Look at Romeo: he's head over heels in love with some girl who he can't be with, he'll never love again, how can he possibly go on, what will he do with himse-wait! Who's that girl over there? Why, it's his real true love! She's opened his eyes to how wrong he was about whats-her-name, this is who he's supposed to be with. And despite the fact that they have no way to support themselves, and absolutely none of their families' authority figures will bless this union, they elope and expect everything to be perfect. I wonder what they were planning to do when Juliet got pregnant?

I can understand why people today have a hard time coming to grips with the story's end. Today, if your family doesn't support your choice in a spouse, you can elope, wait tables or work nights to put yourselves through college, and you generally don't have to worry about being killed by the in-laws. In short, you have options. Not so in Shakespeare's world*.

It still doesn't mean the relationship will last. I once knew a man (somewhere in his 30s) who eloped with his girlfriend of one month in Vegas. Never met the wife, but sure heard a lot about how much they fought, how she didn't respect him, etc, etc.

I also knew a girl who reminded me of Romeo in a certain way. It was like she had a checklist in her head for men: same religion? check; same politics? check; has a plan for the future? check; and there were a few other less important things on the list, but once the major three had been met, it was basically a race to plan the wedding, plan the family, where they would live, careers, and on and on and on, until...something happened. Without fail, it would turn out that the guy was not as serious about the relationship as she was, or not ready to commit, or was a jerk, and she would be back at square one, except now she would be hurt, but that was ok, because there was always another guy around the corner. As far as I can tell she's grown out of this. I think the change mostly came about when she realized she needed to learn how to live independently before she started planning a life with another person.

Hmmmm. I'm not sure I really had a plan for this post, I just started rambling. I guess my point is I basically agree with Mr. Trees, except I think he needs to take some literature classes. Most people do, though (and history). Just about anything you could ever need or want to know about human nature is in the Shakespeare canon.

*But people don't really know much about Shakespeare's world, so they don't understand why it could never work (see: Taylor Swift's 'Love Story').

I have not yet begun to procrastinate!

2010-04-03T16:13:00.000-05:00

Saw that on a button once; I want it for a shirt. Anyway, a story about Ireland.

The thing to remember about Ireland is it's a really small country. If you're doing a tour, you'll likely run into the same tourists in multiple cities. This happened to us a lot, and this story is about a girl we met at a hostel we stayed at in Cork, who we had passed in the previous city.

She's about our age, either a recent graduate or about to graduate. Somehow it came up in conversation that her ex-boyfriend had proposed to her right before she left for Ireland. They had dated for three years, and as I understood it, she broke up with him because she wanted to see the world before she settled down. So she set out to see the world...on his dime. See, before she left (but after not accepting his proposal) she let him pay for her trip to Ireland. Also, the boyfriend is a professor at her college (but not one of her professors).

So many things in that conversation bothered me. Why invest three years of your life in a relationship you didn't see go anywhere? Why assume you had to be unattached to see the world? And, of course, I feel terribly sorry for the boyfriend. I don't know how many people are aware of this (least of all the girl), but many people pursuing doctorates wait to get married until after they've finished the whole process and are gainfully employed. At least three professors in my department at college were between my parents' and grandparents' age, but had children that were either not yet old enough for school, or in elementary school. Down here in the deep south, waiting until your late-20s to start a family puts you in 'withering on the vine' territory; waiting until your 40s or 50s...I don't think we even have a metaphor for that.

So from my point of view, this guy spent three years thinking he was finally going to settle down, only to be shot down (by a girl who described him as her 'best friend'). It seems cruel, and something that could have been avoided if popular culture had a more goal-oriented dating scene, or at least some sort of accepted guideline.

Note: I originally started working on this October of last year. How's that for procrastination?

In other news

2010-03-31T14:38:00.001-05:00

I've mentioned before the importance of volunteering and charity, so I just wanted to mention that April is National Child Abuse Prevention month. CASA is having an agency-wide blue ribbon campaign fundraiser. If a business in your area isn't participating, consider donating to National CASA.

Changes

2010-03-31T14:34:00.000-05:00

As you can see, we've added a few things to the site. Readers can click on the pages under the headers to learn more about the writers, what we believe, things we participate in. Also, on the sidebar we've started adding advertisements. We're signed up to for the Amazon Associates program, so if you click on an Amazon link we post and buy something (anything, it doesn't have to be something we mention), we'll get a small commission from it, so if you regularly shop at Amazon please consider clicking on one of those links first, our travel funds will greatly appreciate it. :)

Please bear with us....

2010-03-25T15:45:00.000-05:00

...as we edit the blog and its template. Some of this I need Kate's help with (I don't know how to get rid of the empty column), and she is very busy with school and her performance tomorrow (she's singing for a charity fundraiser).

Check out our new pages under the header, let us know what you think! And I promise, posting will resume soon!

Passing the Torch

2009-08-14T23:55:00.000-05:00

Another summer has come to a close, and I'm gleefully awaiting the arrival of Kate. She's moving to a town not too far away from myself (only 2 hours! Weeee!), and will arrive in a week. This is a tremendous change for the both of us, since for the past six years the only way we could visit was by plane. The reason for this move is Kate has decided to move south to finish her college career, just as I have completed mine (sort of). I figure with all the work she put into keeping the site going while I was busting my butt in college, I ought to do what I can while she is indisposed.

Kate was right in her last blog post, a lot has happened. Since graduating I've been going non-stop, to New Orleans, Texas, Ireland, and soon I'll be visiting New Mexico and Arizona. As soon as all this is over, I really must get a job, I don't have a single cheap hobby...

Anyhow, I promise to have Ireland pictures and stories up soon (there were a few stories about relationships I heard along the way that I definitely want to share), but please bear with us: between Katy's move and my trips (not to mention my CASA case coming to a close soon), we're having a little trouble keeping everything balanced.

Breaking the Silence!

2009-05-31T19:25:00.001-05:00

From Blissfully Single Kate's Log:

Well, it’s been a long while since I last posted, much has happened for both Ange and I.

My family and I packed up the car on the 7th of May and headed out to beautiful Hattiesburg, Mississippi to visit the school I intend to transfer to in the fall to finally get that degree. It was my first time in MS that I can remember. I’ve traveled across the states many times, but I don’t remember if since I was born my family ever passed through there. Hattiesburg is a great college town and while it has a lot of the major chain stores and a brand new mall, it also is not without its very cute southern charm.

A mistake I made was failing to take pictures while in Hattiesburg, but thankfully when I got to Hammond, Louisiana to visit with Ange and her family I remembered to use it profusely.

I enjoyed walking the campus of my new school and am looking forward to attending. It is a small campus and the professors I have met are all very nice, and seem like the sort to be attentive to your needs and to help you focus on getting through school. While I know I will be a rather old sophomore on the campus there, I am looking forward to my age being an advantage.

Upon arrival in Louisiana, much preperation was needed to get ready for Ange's graduation.
It was very exciting to attend Ange’s SLU graduation. I’ll leave it up to her to give the details on that, but needless to say I and her family were very proud and excited on that day.

While I was there visiting with her family, a few of us did a quick day trip down to New Orleans (which is always fun to do), and had beignet's at Café Du Monde. Then the day following as a graduation trip, we took off to New Braunfels, TX to spend a day at the Schlitterbahn water park, and then a day at San Antonio, TX.

It had been 19 years since I was last in San Antonio, and I fell in love with it all over again. I will describe in better length in blogs to come each individual trip along with pictures and a few things to remember when traveling to these individual locations.

If you can’t afford to travel abroad, always remember there is lots of amazing culture and things to see in whatever country you live in.

Travel advice

2009-04-18T19:51:00.001-05:00

If you don't have a passport, go get one. Even if you don't have plans to go anywhere in the near future, just go get one. If you're sixteen or older when you apply, it's good for ten years, and the fee for getting it is only $75.

Otherwise, you may run the risk shelling out $208 to expedite your passport processing because you didn't have your passport handy.

It hurt, it really hurt. I just keep telling myself I'll get ten years out of it. Broken down, it comes to about $1.73 per month, which is reasonable (right?). Sigh...

crickets

2009-04-09T12:20:00.000-05:00

So, I guess I should post something, since Kate has been doing her level best to keep this place moving without me.

Isn't she cheerful? She posts about all the wonderful things you can do if you're single, the bright sides, and all that good stuff. Me? Not so much. See, I spend most of my time either talking to people at work, or eavesdropping on conversations going around me, and most of the time all I can think is How on earth do y'all stand to be around each other?

In the three years I've been in college, I've met one guy I had anything even remotely in common with, which is part of the reason I don't date*. I often wonder about people who date because they think they're supposed to. Meaning, people who are dating even though they know a relationship isn't going to be formed by any of these dates. Are they actually enjoying it? If yes, why? If no, why do they keep doing it?

Sorry, as you can see from this and my previous posts, dating culture fascinates and baffles me. I would love to have an opportunity to have a handful of habitual daters chronicle their lives for me: one month of business-as-usual, followed by one month of no dating. Just to see how they would react to the lifestyle change.

I think I may have had a point to all this, but it's the last day before spring break, and my train of thought derailed. Opinions? Thoughts? Explanations of what good dating has ever done for anyone?

*the other part is that I genuinely enjoy being single. As Kate points out, you can do a lot when you're not entangled in romantic relationships.

Happy GaPeR Day!

2009-04-01T15:29:00.000-05:00

From Blissfully Single Kate's Log:
My brother and I a year ago celebrating Gaper day as ninjas!

Gaper Day!

While for everyone else it’s April fool’s day, for us mountain people it’s Gaper Day!

Featuring another blogger with a great explanation of the day and some videos:
http://www.angrysnowboarder.com/2009/03/gaper-day-fun.html

Unfortunatly this year my brother and I couldn't make it out to the slopes today since I became a victim of an evil dentist and am waiting to get it corrected.

Wish your fellow man a Happy Gaper day today!

Kate

Don't be a target, build that confidence!

2009-03-23T14:04:00.000-05:00

From Blissfully Single Kate's log:

As a Single, there will be more individuals out there targeting you as someone to take advantage of. It’s a horrid fact but unfortunately true.

Someone on their own running their own business or just out living life are more likely targets for asset strippers, people tricking you into co-signing your property over to them, rapists, robbers, insecure abusive singles, to a million other things.

How to avoid this is up to you, for one, overcoming your own insecurities with your own singleness and with who you are. Becoming a confident individual makes you ten times less of a target, becoming more alert of your surroundings, securing yourself financially and getting out of debt as quickly as possible, and even just improving your nutritional health.

I write this blog with Ange for the purpose of preventing the things that have happened to me and others we know from happening to you.

The first and foremost thing to keep those from you, who desire to take advantage of you, is to boost your confidence. As my Karate instructor reminds us often, it’s the first impression you leave with someone that affects your future with that individual. Always greet each and every person you meet in a firm handshake and with an air of confidence (not arrogance) that shows them you are sure of yourself and know how to take care of yourself and that no one is going to take advantage of you. It’s amazing the message you send people when you greet them with a generous grip and confident smile as opposed to a weak handshake and timid eyes. It is so important that you find that inner happiness in your singleness and not let it bring you down, because from the way you walk to the way you greet others determines for others whether you are a good target for their evil intentions or not.

Improving ones nutrition and some self defense classes may be all that is needed to gain such confidence, but it may take more than just those two things to help you pick yourself up.
Maybe you need to attack your debt, or it’s possible you are still struggling with the emotions of having bad relationships and people who have been taking advantage of you already.

Now is the time to become confident and to stop taking the abuse. Now is the time to find the happiness in who you are and take your passions and make them your priority. Boost yourself with a shot of confidence and take a break from the dating world. Take some personal time out and stop worrying about whether you will get married or not. Leave the worrying up to tomorrow and take on today with a new outlook on life. Stop letting people think you’re insecure and unhappy with who you are and what you have in life. Stop making yourself a target for others.

The world paints singles as insecure enough already, we don’t need to add to the hype by actually being insecure.

Singleness does not equal loneliness!

Note: New Side bars to right of column, for nutritional advice and getting out of debt from Kate.

Pop culture and Singles!

2009-03-18T11:03:00.000-05:00

From Blissfully Single Kate's log:

Singleness is only “hard” if you think it is and allow the world to tell you how you should think.

Few films and shows out there actually condone being totally single and not putting yourself on the meat market as so many shows out there encourage.

I am always on the search for a message from any film nowadays that does not condone single men and women dating perpetually and giving their heart out over and over again till pretty much they believe that is all life is about, and that no one person can be happy for a minute without having to be with someone in some capacity or other.

Uptown Girls is a movie that few may realize has probably one of the strongest messages in teaching single girls and guys to stand on their own two feet and stop depending on a relationship to supply them with all the things they think they need emotionally in life. I recommend it for those still struggling to let go of depending on having some kind of relationship to make them feel significant or emotionally satisfied.

There are singles of all ages, but the brainwashing of society starts young. While I like to target all ages, I realize that to catch the attention of the younger ages, I must intentionally speak to them in particular.

While young single girls and guys may think “oh I have it all going for me and I don’t have to learn about being happy single, because I won’t be single for much longer” are certainly walking a dangerous path of thoughts.

There are those of us, who need to get out of the down trodden thoughts society has injected into us since the beginning of our dating years. We have a greater challenge to overcome such thoughts because of the extent of the exposure we have suffered from such a mind set of pop culture in comparison to those who are just now stepping off into such a civilization for the first time.

Being single is not bad, it’s not evil, it’s not wrong, and it by no means says anything about us. Let us determine what speaks for us, not some status that the world has labeled as “OLD MAID”, “Lonely single”, or any other negative connotation that would imply there is something wrong with us.

Rarely do people see a “single” as someone other than someone with a need to be dating or married. What about our character, our talents, our amazing minds? They just go by the way side; because they become attributes and reasons for someone to date us for, rather than attributes that can achieve great things. Let us do great things, and marry that special person when love comes our way or not. The more time you spend in actually achieving great and wonderful things, the less time you have to worry about if you will meet the love of your life or not. How many times have you heard a friend tell someone they should be dating someone based on all the attributes they both have and how they would fit based on that?

While it’s not wrong to find someone with a great mind to date or marry, it just should not be pursued like a hunt for the perfect costume come Halloween.

If finding a love partner for the rest of your life is your only goal in life and if you feel that you are nothing without that, than you have sold yourself short, and will continue down a path of negative thoughts about yourself and those around you. I want you to be happy as an individual and for you to find the success that embracing a single life has to offer before dating again or getting married.

Challenge yourself to find new goals new passions or maybe emphasize the ones you have already over the goal of finding someone to be in a relationship with. Even if the goal is just finding yourself!

If you don’t have friends to surround you, then go out there and find some, if you don’t have family to surround you then find friends willing to be like family.
Singleness does not equal loneliness!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

2009-03-17T12:14:00.001-05:00

Singles Must Learn Self Defense!

2009-03-12T18:15:00.000-05:00

From blissfully single Kate’s log:
The video is of a basic kata in shorin-ryu karate

For years I had wanted to learn some form of self defense and to have more assurance that if ever in a dangerous situation that I could get out of it.

I have now finally taken up some Karate classes offered at my local community center, a type of Shorin ryu that comes out of Okinawa. The sensei who teaches the class is so far very good, and has a patient demeanor. Some very interesting but very good points he made the other night made me realize some very important things.

While many agree that women, especially women living on their own should learn some form of self defense, few understand the importance of guys learning self defense in today’s very crazy world.

People don’t just attack women now days, but also men. It may be hard to think about, but it happens, and Singles especially should be learning how to defend themselves. It’s important to remember that not all attackers travel alone and most likely there will be someone who is bigger than you and or more skilled in harming you than you are at protecting yourself.

Most any form of Karate teaches you how to use your body as a mechanical tool rather than brute force to protect yourself, because not everyone has massive muscle. It teaches you how to overcome anyone of any size no matter your amount of muscle or lack thereof.

I encourage you to find a good instructor that teaches a good form of practical self defense in your area. It’s always best to do a little research on what style might be best for you, and of course finding someone you can afford.
For those of you in the Colorado Springs area, my instructor’s link’s are below and all his qualifications. If you are interested just let him know that Blissfully Single Kate sent you his way, he will give you the first 2 weeks of lessons completely free.

Kyoshi Jeff Ader, PhD 7th Degree Black Belt: Phone # (719) 232-1882
Email: kyoshi@allokinawakarate.com
http://allokinawakarate.com
http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/jeff_ader.html
http://www.kenshin-kan.com/seniorinstructors.html
http://www.kitterykenshinkan.com/06photo.html

Angela also takes a course in self defense called Krav Maga: http://singlebliss.blogspot.com/2009/02/getting-in-gear.html

Knowing self-defense is something everyone should be concerned with. No one has the right to hurt you, ever.
~ Michael Janich~

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it
~ Douglas William Jerrold~

Lessons for all!

2009-02-24T23:32:00.000-06:00

Not just gold-diggers. The CrankyProf ranted about a girl in one of her classes, one of those girls who's working hard on her MRS degree. Living where I do, I honestly have never met someone in that particular degree program; my college has too many non-traditional students working two jobs to support themselves and/or family for that sort of nonsense to take root. CrankyProf offered a short list of things the silly girl ought to be doing instead, and I wanted to expand on it a little bit:

-Learn to handle your own finances/Live within your means and budget.
-Learn how to do (most) of your own car maintenance.
-Find something you love to do for yourself and by yourself.

Now, I'm sure the girl in question pictures herself as an 'Orange County' housewife, not an actual housewife (you know, one who realizes it's a job), but she needs to understand mastering the list above is essential to being a good housewife. Running a household requires budgeting; your husband is not always going to be around to fix the car (and there may be times when you can't afford to pay someone else to fix it); and he doesn't exist to provide your entertainment, so get a hobby (and the pool boy doesn't count).

This is all academic anyway, because a girl who thinks playing dumb is cool definitely needs to be single for a while yet. Neither Kate nor I would ever put ourselves in a position to be taken advantage of; we work hard, read often, and do everything we can to insure we're on equal footing with people we may come in contact with. I can't do most of the maintainance on my car (or even some of it), but I'm sure I could learn.

Trust me girly-girl, I know women who were abandoned by their husbands once the kids left home (or even before), and left them with nothing; it'll happen to you too, so get an education, and some self-confidence while you're at it. Like it says on our sidebar, we're not anti-marriage, we just don't think you can be happily married until after you've learned to be happily single.

PSA

2009-02-24T23:08:00.000-06:00

In light of the near-frantic call I received from Kate this evening, I thought I'd let everyone know that we opted to not spend Mardi Gras in New Orleans this weekend, and thus were no where near the parade route when the shootings occurred. You may return to your regularly scheduled internet reading.

Traveling somewhere?

2009-02-17T17:05:00.000-06:00

The adventurous spirit craves and desires the experiences traveling to new and un-marked territory can give it.

As a seasoned traveler, I cannot say there is anything better than a trip to the unknown with the feeling of freedom it offers. Catching a plane to Valetta, taking the train to Vienna, seeing new towns and cities like Lima and Pisco, stepping onto the streets you’ve only ever read about in books in Venice, admiring your favorite artist's original paintings in the Albertina, sipping a cup of coffee in the square of Zagreb, taking a stroll on the beach in Almunecar.

It all sounds so romantic, but one little mistake could make it all not so grand.
Travel for singles can be fun, but without the right precautions it can turn into their worst nightmare.

While single men run into less dangers than a single female would traveling, it's important to remember that almost anyone who is not alert and aware of their surroundings can be taken advantage of in some form or other.

For the most part I have always been very alert and cautious in all my travels, and made decisions that in several cases prevented terrible things from happening. However, I also made some mistakes that made some of my trips not so fun, and even a bit dangerous.
A valuable lesson I learned the hard way taught me that while it seems like a good idea to go with friends who are originally from the country you are traveling to, it's never a good idea to travel with them when you don’t know them as well as you think you did (making you trust them entirely too much), and it's best not to depend on their reassurances of the hospitality of their family. You are better off making all the plans yourself and insuring that you can get fed properly and taken care of at all times on your own.

Never take anyone’s word for granted and never expect them to hold to any of their words, always prepare for the worst. While sometimes, people go above and beyond and over take care of you while visiting, this is something you can never totally depend on. It's best to plan on buying all your meals out, and it's not a bad idea to insure a good hotel room at a hotel in a good part of town; this gives you more freedom, and you know exactly what kind of place you will be staying in ahead of time, rather than being unpleasantly surprised.

While my situation was not as extreme, because I did not stay as long with the family I visited, Jonathan McCullum’s story certainly drives this point home:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,333173,00.html

Jonathan McCullum's parents said the exchange program should have warned
them that students placed with Coptic families would be subject to dietary
restrictions.

It's always important to know what sort of situation you are putting yourself in before you go, and always be sure to bring enough money to take care of yourself at all times.

If you choose to go on the cheap and do it backpack style, it's more than likely that you will have been mentally preparing yourself for it, and will not be expecting the safest place or cleanest places to stay. It's very important that you are mentally and emotionally prepared ahead of time for where you will be staying. If you are not completely aware and ready, than you will come unprepared. This is why, again, it is never a good idea to depend upon the word of anyone whom you might stay with. Also, if you put yourself in a situation where you go with a friend who already has friends and family from the place you intend to visit, they will expect you to hang out with them and their friends, and will most likely not want to go see sites or museums. Its very dangerous to visit sites by yourself, and you can’t assume anyone hosting you to also want to see the things they grew up around. I speak from experience, and while some hosts are very kind and offer to accompany you on such trips, you can never always depend on that.

This is where having someone who is a close friend or family member that has also never traveled there can be a great benefit. When you want to see new things, its always so much more enjoyable to share it with people who are just as curious and excited about the sites as you are.
There is so much I could go on about, about all the trips I have taken and the lessons of traveling I have learned.

Safety is first and foremost the thing that you should think about when taking a trip abroad.
One particular subject and issue I have tried to keep myself well informed about is an issue few female travelers bother to think about, and should be alert and aware of its presence.
While some people may think the sex slave trade can’t touch them and will never be an issue for them, in reality it is a very serious problem, and ruins hundreds of lives every day.
Recently I had been researching how much of it goes on in our own country, even in our own home towns. I discovered something very shocking, I couldn’t believe it, right here in Colorado springs, and Denver.
http://www.colorado.edu/studentgroups/cusams/informed.html

This website also has videos of ads making people more aware of the issue around the world, and actual news interviews and documentaries of women who escaped it.
I was excited when they came out with the new movie “Taken,” because it gets the word out there and makes the public much more aware of what is going on, and that these things really do happen. I just hope more people take the film seriously than I have seen so far. One female film critic did not like the movie, and felt that it was mostly made up, and practically asked the question if the sex slave trade actually existed or not. I was horrified and shocked at the ignorance of someone who is supposed to be so “intelligent.” It's no wonder the monsters who run these trades get away with it so easily and so often.

I went to see “TAKEN” just a few days ago with my mom, we both very much enjoyed the film, and while we both agreed it had a few holes, it had a lot of good lessons to teach, and is something every single female should watch. As Angela said “It’s a movie about pretty much everything you are not supposed to do (while traveling).”
http://www.takenmovie.com/

It's ok to travel with friends and have fun, but one important rule, every person traveling outside of their home should obey is, to coin the phrase from “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” when the villain (not yet revealed as the villain) says to Dr. Jones, “Don’t trust anyone”, and later when he’s turned on Dr. Jones, he reminds him that Dr. Jones did not take his advice when he told him “not to trust anyone” and is essentially now paying for it.

It's an easy rule to follow but hard to remember when you're having fun and getting way too comfortable with your surroundings. You're fine in your home town, not because home is always a safe place, but because you know who to stay away from and you already know the places and streets to avoid generally; but in a new place, you don’t know these things, and so you can never assume anything.
http://www.transitionsabroad.com/listings/travel/women/websiteswomenclubs.shtml
The article and web link below was a link I found when searching for traveling advice for women. I found that they had some fantastic advice to give and some very good points.

Cultural Concerns

Being immersed in a new culture can be an exciting, yet challenging,
experience. It is important to recognize that, as a woman, you may be treated
differently in each destination. Some countries view men and women as equals,
while others give women few rights. In 1980, the United Nations summed up the
differences between men and women throughout the world: Women, who comprise half
the world's population, do two-thirds of the world's work, earn one-tenth of the
world's income and own one-hundredth of the world's property. You can expect to
experience and observe this difference on your journey abroad.
As a woman,
you may be respected in one culture and harassed in another. You may be expected
to wear certain clothes, and you will be expected to obey certain laws. Being
aware of these differences prior to leaving can help ease your assimilation into
a culture.......
click link to read more
http://www.medexassist.com/Information-Resources/docs/Cultural_Health_and_Safety_Advice_for_Women.pdf

My favorite advice is given by Rick Steves
http://www.ricksteves.com/plan/tips/women_solo.htm
He pretty much covers it all from “eating out," "traveling smart,” “dealing with men” and “handling harassment.” He also gives advice that is helpful to single guys who want to travel on their own.

Traveling Alone Without Feeling Lonely
Here are some tips
on meeting people, eating out, and enjoying your evenings. (Note that these tips
are also helpful for men traveling alone.)……….

*Rick Steves*

There is so much advice out there from your fellow travelers, that traveling alone should be a piece of cake and very safe if you heed it.

It’s a great world out there and there should be no reason for you to hold back from seeing it.

Singles Awareness Day?? Or a day to be glad your a single?

2009-02-14T11:34:00.000-06:00

From Blissfully single Kate’s log:

It seems a lot of singles dread this day of hearts and valentines, and while some have good arguments that it’s a stupid day, it’s the singles who cry on this day because they are single that I’m addressing. The day is full of commercialism and profit making, but if you let this day bother and upset you and you actually believe its “Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D)” than you probably feel generally upset about being single all year round and think you need to be in a relationship to make you happy. This blog is all about being happy as a single, and not letting the rest of the world dictate how you should feel about your status as a single.

For those who need to see the upside of V-day and all its advantages it has for Singles read Kate’s previous post about V-day:

Achieving a new sense and feel for the day most singles detest!

As for those of you who agree the day is bogus and just a scam to rake in extra money, and a silly excuse to put off love till that day for lazy lovers, than you will enjoy Angela’s post:

Valentines Day: a pinnacle of consumerism

Always remember one important thing, Singleness is not the definition of Loneliness!

Getting in gear

2009-02-12T21:26:00.000-06:00

I really haven't taken advantage of the freedom being single affords me. Once I started college, I just let myself be consumed by it, putting my head in the books at the beginning of each semester and not looking up until finals week ended. Now that I'm in my final semester, and finally have a light course load, I actually have free time and a little extra money to do some fun stuff (and not-so-fun stuff).

The fun: I had my first Krav Maga class tonight, and lemme tell you, I am not in as good shape as I thought. Part of my New Year resolution was to not drive back and forth between work and classes (they're close enough I can walk, and it takes the same amount of time), and earlier today I noticed all that walking was starting to pay off. I don't know what I was thinking; the warm-up before the training whipped my butt. I was actually seeing spots at one point! Once we started training, though, I was able to really enjoy it. Kit and I (she started classes a couple weeks before I did) are going to Academy tomorrow to buy some wrist guards/gloves, because the punching is really hard on your fingers and wrists.

The not-so-fun: In other news, I was finally able to accept a CASA assignment! For those who don't know, a CASA volunteer is a Court Appointed Special Advocate who represents children in foster care. They're sort of like social workers, except CASAs only represent one child/sibling group at a time, and stay with them until their case is closed. They are also appointed by a judge, and do not work for the social services offices (which is good, since I pretty much despise what our nation's 'family services' branch has become). I became certified back in September, but for several reasons was unable to take on a case until now. I'm assigned to two sisters, and will meet them Tuesday!

It's exciting to be at a point where I can do things that matter to me, instead of things I need to do to get through the semester.

Volunteering is a very important issue to me. If something outrages you, or you think something needs fixing, don't ask someone else to do something about it; go do it yourself. I studied foster care abuses for about 8 years before I learned of CASA, and realized there was a small way I could help. I give 10% of every paycheck to charities I think will do the most good, most effectively (you can see several of them on my other blog, Literate Gypsy). On that note, I'll end this post with a challenge to singles: your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a place in your area where you can volunteer. Even if it's only for an hour a week, someone, somewhere needs your help.

Valentines Day: a pinnacle of consumerism

2009-02-11T14:09:00.000-06:00

I can't tell if I'm posting this before or after Kate's Valentines Day post (stupid time zones!), but I just wanted to chime in with my own views on this day: I hate it. I know Kate says you don't have to and all that, but I think you really do, and not because of the relationships part of it. Pretty much the only holiday I like anymore is Thanksgiving, because advertisers really can't do much with it except push turkey and yams at you. It's also the only holiday we have about being grateful for what you have, as opposed to what you're hoping to get, or what you can get out of others. I think of Valentines Day as the pinnacle of consumerism, Hallmark's ode to useless garbage (except for those little heart-shaped, pastel-colored candies; those are good).

Also, there's a very good reason you should dislike Valentines Day from a relationship point of view: your 'someone special' is (presumably) someone special all year long. What better way to assuage your guilt of ignoring or taking for granted him/her the other 364 days of the year than by buying something that will be in the trash within a week? Actually, that has a touch of irony to it, though not in a good way.

Anyway, it's a day that should be ignored. Take your significant other on a picnic, or stay in and do something, whatever floats your boat, just remember that you ought to be doing it year-round, not on Valentines Day when you're being charged exorbitant prices for what ought to be common place for the two of you.

As a single, I'm free to completely ignore the day (except for when I'm laughing at people spending $50+ for flowers). There's a forum I'm active on, where a boy was complaining about not being able to stay in a relationship. Not just complaining, he actually seemed panicked about it. Everyone was busy comforting him, letting him know that eventually someone would come along, etc. I pointed out to him that being single isn't terrible, it's a wide open world where you never have to hear, "But why don't you want to spend time with me?" or, "Why don't you call when you say you are?" These seem like pretty big perks to me. Then again, I'm a twenty-two years-old curmudgeon, so take it for what it's worth.

Achieving a new sense and feel for the day most singles detest!

2009-02-11T13:38:00.000-06:00

From blissfully single Kate's log:

As the dreaded day for most singles approaches, I realized I needed to think this one out. For a very long time I harbored relentless bitterness and hate for V-Day, in fact I joined every 'hate Valentines Day' group on Facebook a few years ago, only to later realize that no matter how many groups I joined, no one participated in them and I wasn’t going to get any kind of satisfaction from it.

Valentines Day has got to be probably one of the most depressing days on the calendar for most singles, so I realized I had to address it, because being happy as a single becomes very hard to do the closer the day approaches. I’d like to provide a little advice on how you can avoid all the miserable feelings that society tries to evoke in singles on that day and all the weeks leading up to it, and how to embrace the day and see why the day actually has a lot of positive things about it for singles.

For years I celebrated the day with my family as I grew up, as I got older I started to hate what the day represented, I started to resent its implications and its demands. Now I’m trying to embrace it, and have realized its potential, and the advantages the day brings to singles.

In my youth it was a fun activity to make things for each member of my family, but I started to lose that spirit once I reached my late teens, and than began hating the day profusely. I even hated it when I was in relationships, only because most all my relationships I was in during that time of year were long distance or some other issue. I realized later, that I just wanted to hide the fact that I wanted something from someone on that day, I wanted to be taken out, I wanted someone to give me flowers, but I was a rebel and had to prove to myself that I “did not care“ if no one did anything special for me on that day, and I know I was not alone in this mind set. I know of several singles who feel the same way, but try to hide it, and choose to hate the day rather than embrace it. The fact is, we are expected to hate it, and we are expected to only be happy with that holiday if we are in a relationship with someone, but society and its rules should never rule how we feel about any holiday, or our singleness.

The benefits of this day started to become more and more clear to me just in this past year. Valentines Day is a day that was originally created for “lovers”, but it has evolved into more of a day of just “love” period, and if we consider true love, it would probably throw out half the “lover’s” relationships out of the boat and celebrate the love parents have for their kids, and kids have for their parents and siblings have for each other, and close friends.

If you want to celebrate on that day, don’t think for one minute you have to do it with a date or have some sort of romantic time with someone. Take a single friend out for fun, or a family member and get them something if you want to. The best part of it is, you're not required to, and no one is expecting anything out of you when you're single. No demands, no expectations, only a time for you to get creative and brighten a few people’s day by showing them the day can be for everyone.

Think of all the wives or girlfriends who expect something big from their spouses or boyfriends, and how it could get messy if he fails to meet expectations, and in turn she really does have to get him a little something. Of course not all relationships are like that, but these are some benefits of being single that we should appreciate until we do find that special someone. As a single you are free from anyone expecting or demanding anything out of you. You have the choice to give as you please to those whom you love and appreciate in your life that are not expecting anything from you on that day.

Now, my favorite part of this day has created another holiday for me. Its only this time of year that they make an incredible amount of chocolates, with Valentines themed boxes, putting them in the category of “must get rid of” the day after. The 15th of February is in and of itself a holiday for me. All Valentines Day chocolates at Kmart and all over go 50%-75% off. I like to think how I was not required to purchase anyone anything for the day before at an exuberant price, because I was not tied to the requirements of the day, and can celebrate the great feeling of a sweet deal and enjoy all the chocolates I want the day after. This does not happen any other time of the year. I love the 15th and I always look forward to it, it helps with ignoring all the hype of having a date or a special someone on the 14th, because you now have turned the 15th into a holiday that most people don’t realize is way more fun to celebrate.

As a single, you are not tied to the requirements of the 14th, and you can even take time out to show your appreciation for family and friends. You can save some money, and indulge yourself and others in chocolate you can afford the following day, thanks to the hyped up holiday the day before. Don’t let the world tell you how you should feel on that day, or how you should feel any time of the year as a single. As Angela and I have pointed out many times, this blog is not against marriage, but for being happy while you are single, so that you can enjoy every aspect of life, and not worry if you will find someone special or not, because when you worry, then you close your eyes to so many wonderful things out there that you could be doing and achieving.

I hope you all have a Happy Valentines Day this year and that you can find a way of expressing your love for your family and friends on that day, and remember, singleness does not equal loneliness!

boarding the slopes of life!

2009-01-27T16:37:00.001-06:00

So much to do, and so much to say!

Blissfully Single Kate's Log:

As some of you know I am returning to school in the fall to pursue a degree in pre-law. I’ve been very anxious to get started and jump back into school. I don’t know how I will do, but I’m a little nervous about learning to speak the language of math all over again. Its been a couple years since I was in college and I’m a little scared but very excited about the whole thing.

What a better time to be a single than when you're going to college, you need the time and energy of a single person for one to just get through school and focus on your studies, and it’s a great time to make friends and branch out to new ideas and experiences. Even though I’m going to be “an old person” I will be staying in the dorms and living the exuberant life of a college student. The school is relatively small and for that I’m happy since it gives more of a small community feel and the professors are more attentive to their students in making sure they are actually learning. I also discovered that one of the professors who has been assigned to be my counselor does many trips with the students all over the world and from what I’ve heard it sounds like they are extremely fun trips at that.

Speaking of trips, my family and I enjoyed a very relaxing week on the sunny slopes of Breckenridge, CO where my family owns a time share making me a very privileged individual
:D

I used to be a big time skier but now have switched to the snowboard which I love and can’t stop. The snow was amazing and the sun was just perfect. I took some footage, but have been having issues with making it work. I had purchased a camera right before we left on the trip, but it only runs on QuickTime and I’m having trouble finding a program online for free that works well with converting the videos so they can run in windows movie maker. If anyone reading this knows of a program I could use for this purpose, please let me know, I will appreciate it greatly.

Well to continue with a short update on the trip, I had not been working out like I should before the trip, so needless to say I was quite sore for the first few days of the trip after many hours of boarding everyday.

I switched to the snowboard, because it is much easier on the knees and ankles. I have always had a lot of trouble with cramping in the legs and feet when I skied; so I switched to something that made the sport of cruising the slopes much more enjoyable for me, and that’s how it should be. Someday I will have to write a post on the dynamics of such a change and the character and karma on the slopes as a boarder and a skier. On the last day of the trip, we took a side trip over to the outlet mall and enjoyed some great sales while shopping.
I’ve had so many ideas on my mind for this blog and things that I thought would help encourage all the singles out there that are having trouble with being happy about being single. I would like to know the thoughts of singles out there who are having trouble being happy and to express it and let me know what sorts of questions they might have on how to embrace the life of being single. I would also love to hear from the singles out there who have realized they are living a happy life with being single and why.

As much as I enjoy writing my thoughts down, I just as equally love to hear the thoughts of others. So please feel free to post your comments.

Blog carnival

2009-01-22T12:02:00.000-06:00

Kate and I were talking about this the other day, about how we both love the 'wrong' dogs: Staffordshire Terriers, Dobermans, etc. I've become more and more interested in the groups which rescue them, and the challenge of saving them from breed specific legislation (and the ignorance/bigotry that fuels it). To this end, we've decided to host a monthly blog carnival, focusing on BSL, no-kill shelters, rescue organizations, and the hypocritical organizations like PETA and the Humane Society who claim to support animal rights, but fail to support animal welfare. I'm aiming for the first one to be on Feb 16. If you want to submit a post, you can do so through this link; just click 'submit an article' and it will be sent to my e-mail address.

Sumdood strikes at education

2009-01-16T12:59:00.000-06:00

Sumdood (in concert with his cousins, Sumgai and Sumwon) has been running around telling studious, hardworking college students they can keep their scholarships, even though they have failed most of their courses and/or have failed to maintain a 2.0 GPA. It has been left to me to inform them that no, a .865 does not satisfy the TOPS requirements, nor is it good enough for the scholarship we gave them at the start of their college careers. I've had many a conversation that go like this:

Feckless Student: "Uh, so, like why is my housing scholarship gone?"
Me: "Name, please?"
FS: "John."
Me: "Full name and student ID?"*
FS: "John Doe."
Me: [searching records] "It's because you failed to meet the retainment requirements. They're in the middle of removing scholarships right now, if you refresh the screen you'll see the other half of your scholarship has been removed as well."**
FS: "...oh."

*Yes, I have to remind students to identify themselves. No one teaches phone etiquette anymore. No one teaches any other kind of etiquette either, but that's beside the point. "Hi, this is so-and-so, calling because of __________)." It's not. that. hard.
**Yes, I say it just like that. No, I don't care if I hurt their feelings. I'm dead inside.

Bummed

2009-01-16T12:29:00.000-06:00

My laptop is riddled with viruses. My grandpa explained to me how to fix it, and I picked up the things needed to do it, but now I can't get it to load passed the 'welcome' screen that comes up while it's booting. *sigh* Oh, and the computer fix-it guy who was supposed to come out to the house to help, called the day he was coming over (after calling to let me know when he would be coming) to say the house is too far away for him to make a house call. I live less than 5 miles from campus; why did his company advertise at the university if it's too freaking far for them to drive?

Between moping over my laptop and the start of (my last!) semester, I just haven't felt very enthusiastic about blogging. Although, my new classes should give me plenty material.

I want to be....

2009-01-08T08:33:00.000-06:00

just like Rachel, when I grow up.

Time!

2009-01-05T23:04:00.000-06:00

From blissfully single Kate’s log:

Time, it’s a precious thing; we’re told this all the time. Certain individuals are wasting more time then they realize, and I’m about to address them. If you have not yet read the side bar titled “what we’re about,” you need to read it.

“What’s time wasting got to do with being happy single?” you might ask. I am a time waster, and I’m finally coming out to say so. How did I waste so much time? By being an unhappy single, rather than a happy one. I wasted months, in fact years. From one relationship to the next, everything in my life depended on the guy I was dating at the time. I wanted to mold my life around his, I wanted to change my passions of life and career path to fit a future with whomever I was serious with at the time. I never stopped to ask myself: What is it I really want to do?

When I started to finally ask myself this question, I realized, I hadn’t given myself the time to even know I wanted anything other than marriage and a family. It’s all I wanted out of life (I thought), and because I didn’t think maybe there are other things that can come first or instead, I lost a whole lot of time, because I wasn’t trying to just be happy as me, and achieving goals I might actually want to achieve.

People waste a lot of time wishing and waiting for someone to spend the rest of their life with, instead of just going out and doing what they want and letting marriage find them.
If you know you want to travel the world, then do it, if you want to start your own business, do it, if you want to be rich, then go out and figure out how to invest or whatever in order to do it. Why do you have to wait for someone to marry to do any of these? Of course when you need help you can always turn to a friend, or a family member. Singleness is not about being alone; it’s about not being romantically involved with someone.

Ladies: Obviously the world is not safe, and maybe you think I’m saying “travel by yourself,” but I’m not, I’m saying, do it with a friend, or a family member, and learn how to be a survivalist and learn self defense. If money is an issue, then why are you waiting to find a man with the money to spend on you so you can accomplish your goals, that’s not what getting married is for. Go out and earn the money and become successful yourself. You could see the world and much more in the time your waiting for that “Mr. Right,” who knows, you might just meet him on your travels or in your business endeavors, but that is not the reason you’re doing it. Get out there, enjoy life, don’t let being single hold you back from what you want.

Guys: I’m sure you waste less time than females do in waiting for that spouse, but don’t let it rule your happiness if you haven’t found that mate for life yet. Enjoy the freedom it gives you to not be tied to someone. You’ll find that confidence as an individual and not always looking for a girl, will attract more girls, but that’s not the purpose of why I’m saying become happy as a single. Why would you want to be unhappy in the time you could be enjoying the freedom of being single rather than having to take care of a family and all the responsibilities that come with that?

There are also the individuals who do anything and everything for the sole purpose of finding a spouse, and hunt other people like a hunter hunts wild game. Getting out and traveling is for your inner happiness and joy of seeing what you see, it’s not about doing it to ignore the beauty around you, because you were to focused on finding a spouse. Do what you enjoy because it’s truly pleasing for you. Don’t do bungee jumping because the guy or girl you’re attracted to does it, do it cause you actually wanted to do it, or don’t do it. You get the idea of what I’m saying.

I want to travel the world, so, instead of moping around wishing I wasn’t alone and crying because I’m not being asked out or because I think I’ll never find anyone to marry, I’m going to do what I want. If some guy out there decides he likes me for who I am and because we have so much in common, and if I’m attracted to him and he isn’t an idiot with silly notions, then I won’t turn him down if he asks me out, but I need to make sure I’m going out with him for all the right reasons, and not because I want someone who has a big pocket book and is willing to fund all my silly little fancies, or because I just am so desperate to be with someone.

If you can live by those rules, you’ll find that whomever you do marry (if you do) won’t be someone you’re eager to divorce in 3 years, because they turned out to be abusive or any other awful thing from a very long list of things that could happen.

Self-Taught

2009-01-05T21:24:00.000-06:00

I hadn't meant to be confrontational right from the start. I write about things as they occur to me, so those were just the topics that came up. On to happier things!

I love to teach myself to do things. However, I don't seem to do well with the basics. Take calligraphy, for example. There's a foundational hand you're supposed to practice first. I just flipped through the beginner's guide until I found the alphabet I like the most and started copying letters. I seem to have a knack for making things difficult for myself, and it holds true for learning to sew my own clothes. Kit and I saw several patterns for pretty dresses we wanted, and the one I decided to make first (with assistance from Grandma) is, according to her, the most complex of all the patterns. Sorry for the blur, my camera doesn't do 'up close' very well:

Having fought with fabric, patterns, and the sewing machine, I can see why the art of sewing pretty much died out. I think I'll keep it up though, since I've gotten over the initial frustration of using the sewing machine. The kinds of clothes I like are expensive (Ann Taylor, Banana Republic), and even at outlet malls I can only afford to shop maybe once a year, during the big sales.

There isn't a zipper yet, which is why it looks so wide, the back is hanging open. It needs to be hemmed, too. I think the picture squishes it a bit, because it goes just passed my knees. Here's a close-up of the fabric:

One of the benefits of rejecting the 'going-out' lifestyle is I have a lot of free time on my hands. Since starting college, I've taught myself calligraphy, to quilt, and now I'm learning to sew. Obviously I like to keep my hands busy*! Anyway, this is how I spent the end of my Christmas break, up in an attic growling at that infernal contraption known as a feeder.

*insert Mom wailing, "Then why don't you clean?!"

Dating Culture?

2008-12-31T22:27:00.000-06:00

I like to spend some time on the Yahoo Answers. Mostly I answer questions in the humanities section, but every once in a while I move into the family and relationships section, just to see if there's anything interesting. It also lets me see what the future will be like, and let me tell you, it isn't pretty. For example, here are a couple of the questions posted this evening:

im dating a fifth grade boy is that ok? btw is it ok if i like another guy? i still love the guy im with but i like the other dude?is that ok?

The asker is a sixth grader. An eleven year old is dating a ten year old, and someone, somewhere, thinks this is acceptable or cute. Not only dating, but she wants to date someone else as well! The responders (so far) are about evenly divided between "you're too young to date/be in love" and "it's fine, you're in love". The "it's fine" crowd is what has me a tad bit worried. Says one responder,

She may not know what love is.
But she's old enough to be dating.
You guys need to stop saying "omg you're too young wait til you're 16!" and stuff like that.
Kids start dating from as young as 3rd and 4th grade now a days.
Get over it.
It's insane but it'll be okay...

Third and fourth grade? Please take yourself out of the gene pool. The rest look like other sixth graders who basically cheer her on, or tell her to find a guy her own age (because I guess that one year makes all the difference). [/sarcasm]
Another question I read:

Is it bad that a friend of mine can't get a girlfriend. He's 15,in 10th grade. He has never really kissed a girl. Do you think it's bad..? He's always at home and never really goes out with friends..

So, by fifteen (or roundabout highschool age) we're expected to have already started making out? I know I'm not the only person disturbed by this. What I don't understand is how parents let it get this way. Dating used to be not so different from courtship. Meaning, the point of dating was to find the person you would marry. Now it seems to be just another pointless, aimless activity. Well, unless you consider hooking-up or shacking-up to be worthy goals. In fact, if you were to say in mixed company, "I'm looking for a spouse" people would probably think you were a little off. If you take marriage out of the equation, what is the point of dating? Companionship? You can get that from your friends. That pretty much narrows it down to...physical pleasure. And I don't want to hear about how dating amongst such young kids couldn't lead to that, because we all know that's a lie.

We've gotten to a point where we no longer differentiate between adult and child activities*, and it's not doing anyone any good. Actually, it seems like there's almost been a total role reversal, where teenagers are expected to drink and be crazy, but when parents have so much as a glass of wine they're vilified for being irresponsible.

I know I'm hopelessly old fashioned, but is it too much to ask to let children be children? It's bad enough that the hook-up, don't-ever-let-yourself-be-unattached culture has infiltrated high schools, but we have to draw a line somewhere.

*I think the creation of 'teenagers' is partly to blame for this.

It's not about being single...

2008-12-31T12:36:00.002-06:00

...and it's not particularly blissful, or happy at all, but it's still important.

Breed Specific Legislation (BSL) is pointless, as it is based on lies and junk science. Above all, it is cruel and inhumane. I'm not going to rehash all the facts to back this up right now, if you're interested in the truth please don't wait for it to be spoon-fed to you (and that applies to all subjects, not just BSL). If you can, consider fostering for a local rescue; if you can't, please make a donation to one so they can continue their work. Also, find out where your state stands on the issue, and what you can do to end this bigotry.

Pit Bull Rescue Center
Gulf Coast Doberman Rescue

Reality Check

2008-12-29T20:48:00.000-06:00

Pearl's post reminded me of a conversation I saw on Trading Spouses (don't judge me). A Ft. Lauderdale mom had switched with a Wisconsin* farm mom. The farm family had a chicken coop, and one day the Florida mom happened to look in and see a dead chicken. She ran to tell the kids (17 year old girl, teenage boy) that one of the chickens was sick and someone needed to do something. The girl poked her head in and looked for a second, and flatly stated, "It's dead." The FL mom was greatly upset by this, refused to believe it, and made the girl pick it up, carry it to the garage, and lay it on the cool floor with a fan blowing on it because, "He's just overheated." After a few minutes of this, she was still insisting it was alive and she even said she could feel a pulse. Once again, the girl felt for a pulse and, just as flatly, stated, "Yeah. It's dead." FL mom was finally forced to accept the chicken wasn't making a comeback, which is when she wanted to have a funeral for the thing (I don't know if they ever did; I doubt it.)

Later, in those 'alone with the camera' interviews they do, the FL mom explained that the chicken had probably died of the heat because it wasn't used to heat like she is, being from Florida and living at the beach as she does. The girl expressed her exasperation with the woman, because early after arriving the FL mom had talk about making a fancy chicken-based dish for the family. Did she not, the girl asked, realize they would have had to kill one of their chickens anyway for her to make the meal?

Two (related) things struck me about the situation: 1) the FL mom's arrogance and 2) her ignorance of nature and where food comes from. Presumably, the chicken had lived its whole life on this farm, experiencing the same four seasons every year. Meaning, the chicken wasn't suddenly overwhelmed by the heat and just couldn't stand it because it hadn't been exposed to a Florida heat. Secondly, the mom sounds like one of those people who thinks meat is produced in a factory, already plastic wrapped and ready for cooking. It seems to be a common misconception, considering how many meat-eaters think hunting for food is immoral. It reminds me of the scene in a Montgomery Troy music video, where the guy is driving through town with a deer strapped to his hood. He gets stopped at a red light, next to an indoor/outdoor cafe, where the patrons are horrified to see his kill...right up until their juicy, medium rare steaks are brought out.

Humans are omnivores. Animals die so we can eat. Deal with it. No one is saying you have to go out and kill your own food, we would just appreciate it if you had a rudimentary understanding of the real circle of life**.

And another thing: if you're against the use of leather or fur products, you should probably stop eating meat as well. Do you think slaughter houses just throw the skins out when they're done? Of course not, they sell them to companies who produce leather and fur goods (if they don't have their own business on the side).

I'm glad I could get that off my chest. I have been chastised by people for a pair of gloves I own (rabbit fur-lined leather), and I'm a little tired of having to explain to people that if they eat steak or rabbit, they helped make my gloves.

*I think it was Wisconsin, but it could have been a different northern/midwest state.
**Not the fake Disney one, where lions eat grubs and are best friends with walking pork chops.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T09:17:00.001-06:00

To address an issue that some men seem to suffer from in making assumptions about single women!

2008-12-06T22:33:00.000-06:00

From Singularly Blissful Kate's log:

When a single female who is attractive is single by choice and happy about it, men make the assumption that she is a lesbian. Well I’m here to clear that little misunderstanding right up and fast. I personally believe a man who desires a female that is attractive and finds her to impossible to have will make the undignified assumption that she is a lesbian in order to make himself feel more comfortable about his masculinity! There I’ve said it, and another thing, just because a girl is happy being single, does not mean she will choose to ignore every single man out there on the face of the planet, it just means she is wiser in her decisions about choosing a mate that will not exhaust, use, or abuse her. A single female that is NOT desperate, will not do something stupid and desperate and go falling for the first available attractive man calling.
I find that my mind is clearer in making a decision for life when I am happy, content , and confident in myself, and my singleness.

Arrrr, the pirate hath spoken!

Because she's evil, that's why.

2008-11-29T23:46:00.000-06:00

Angela: what happened to all the paragraphs I added to your post?
Angela: *yanking hair*
Angela: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kate: what?
Kate: lol, it did'nt work in the email i guess
Angela: ack
Angela: I'll fix it
Kate: LOL
Kate: nothing like making you go insane
Kate: hahahahaha
Kate: i'm talented at that
Kate: arrrrrrrrrr
Kate: i'm a pirate i don't have to have good grammer
Angela: oh yes you do
Angela: you do understand the difference between capitalization in English and capitalization in German, right?
Angela: because you just randomly capitalize words
Kate: LOL
Kate: I know I know
Kate: its a problem i have
Kate: I don't know why i do it
Kate: my mom is always trying to figure out why i do it
Angela: me too
Kate: I try to stop
Kate: but i can't help it
Kate: its like the german in me just seeps out or something
Angela: at first I thought it was because you studied German so much, but the words you capitalize would be lower case in both German and English
Angela: so I have no idea where you're coming from
Kate: LOL
Kate: I know I know
Kate: its bad
Kate: I do it without knowing it
Kate: its sad
Kate: I myself try to avoid doing it
Kate: but somehow
Kate: they just pop in there
Kate: I even went over this one blog and fixed some of the capitalized words in there that i had
Kate: I must not have caught them all
Kate: lol
Kate: it must be a pirate thing
Kate: I guess I just feel that the things i'm saying are really so important that they must be capitalized a little bit
Kate: lol
Angela: well they won't be for too much longer
Angela: *viciously de-capitalizing*
Kate: LOL
Kate: I think it must be some sort of disorder
Kate: i've never known anyone else to have that problem
Kate: i'm sure if i went to some psychologist for it, they would come up with some new special name for it
Kate: they would bring me on the today show as a new specimen for a new found diagnosis
Kate: " Its the most unbeleivable thing, she has no control over it, she even capitalizes lower case words in paragrahs in her sleep"
Angela: lol
Angela: *corrects numerical-verb agreement* grumblegrumblegrumble
Kate: katy: "I've tried to stop, but nothing I do seems to keep me from capitalizing my words, I even try to stop myself in the middle of doing it and I can't even force myself sometimes to backspace on them when i do"
Kate: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!11
Angela: *grumble*run-on sentences*grumble*
Kate: LOL
Kate: i'm the queen of run on sentences
Kate: infactsometimesi even LIke runningonmywordsalltogetherLIKETHISwith a fewCApitalLetters nowAnd Again where they Don't belong
Kate: I know that sentance there is killin ya!
Angela: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!1
Kate: *watches as angela rips out all the hair she has left*
Angela: *runs for the bunker*
Angela: *clutches "Eats, Shoots & Leaves"*
Kate: LOL
Angela: it'll be ok....it'll be ok...Lynn Truss will save the world
Angela: *deep breaths*
Angela: ok
Angela: now look at your post
Kate: k
Kate: wow cool, theirs Space thingys
Kate: LOL
Angela: omg
Kate: no really its beautiful
Kate: thank you
Kate: i'm laughing so hard i'm crying
Angela: *headdesk* when wishing to make something plural, one first REMOVES the -y and replaces it with -ies
Angela: [sobbing emoticon here]
Kate: did i actually do that
Kate: wow i typed that thing fast
Angela: right above, "space thingys"
Angela: lol
Kate: LOL
Kate: seriously the tears are streaming
Angela: right after "theirs"
Angela: *headdesk*
Kate: ROFLOL
Kate: Ah hahahahahahahahahha
Angela: I'm going to have an aneurysm
Kate: i'm snorting OMG
Kate: omg
Kate: *breaths deep*
Kate: phew
Kate: i could barely see what i was typing
Angela: seriously
Angela: my little brain is exploding
Kate: lol
Angela: must *gasp* fix *choke* homophones
Angela: *thud*
Kate: if we get an apartment together
Kate: i'm just going to randomly leave papers lying around the house with awful grammer
Angela: oh god
Kate: just to watch you freak out
Kate: and start correcting it

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Make no mistake, people. I-the jaded, vindictive, pessimist-am the nice one. :P

Single Pirates!

2008-11-29T22:59:00.000-06:00

Blissfully Single Kate's Log:

The Picture above was a splendid picture taken by a man my brother and I ran into in Manitou springs after our “Pirate Show” at the Ute Pass Library. I just found his email to me with it attached today.

My little sister and I as of yesterday have had the entire house all to ourselves and will continue to have until the 8th. Its been nice and I’m finding time to work on my book and other things such as this blog for instance :D

The snow has been coming down steadily most all day and has brought much inspiration for book writing and art.

Well off to the drawing board, I have to figure out Christmas gifts and card ideas.

Coming up for air...

2008-11-28T20:15:00.003-06:00

to explain a couple of things about decorum. When attending a memorial service, you do not-under any circumstances-wear the same style of make-up or FM shoes that you wear to go clubbing. It does not make you look "dressed up" or appropriately formal, it makes you look like a classless slut who wants to be the center of attention.

Pies, Pies, and more pies :)

2008-11-26T17:50:00.001-06:00

Oh so many wonderful things to write about, and so little time!

My family decided to have Thanksgiving early on Sunday, since my parents will be running off to the Caribbean on a cruise with my father’s business. Well I made the pie crusts and the filling for the pumpkin, since I didn’t have time much for anything else considering I had a show the next day to do before our celebration on Sunday. I took some pictures of the pie making process, and had fun doing it!

Still no content

2008-11-19T08:42:00.003-06:00

Since the beginning, loners had been out there, on their own, making and doing things. They had kept to themselves, liked their own company,thrived on their days alone. They had produced the Mona Lisa, Jungle Book, Taoism, Walden. How could I have known? In that nonloner world of teams and troops and congregations, who would have said, 'Psst, hey, loner. Here is a grand roll call of your forbears. Protoloners.'

Party of One, Anneli Rufus

Flying solo, with tea!

2008-11-18T17:22:00.001-06:00

From Singularly blissful Kate’s log:

Before I begin an account of some recent adventures and just plain simple good fun and future plans I’d like to address the fact of why my friend and I decided to start this blog. I was going through a hard time trying to figure out if anyone could or had ever achieved true sincere single happiness without dating people and always looking for someone to go out with that is more than just a good friend. All the websites and blogs and advice columns all were directed at helping singles on how to get over a bad relationship and telling them that getting out there and dating again was the thing to do. I just for the life of me could not find one person to just say that being single in and of itself had been rewarding to them and that they were happy living without some sort of romance. I realized I had to discover this on my own and ignore the world and its pathetic advice that it had to offer and discover it for myself. I can’t say I’ve fully accomplished this, but since I started on the quest for happiness without romance I’ve gradually become more and more successful. Once and a while the thoughts of desiring that still linger near, but they do fade the more I venture forth on my quest. I hope to provide thoughts and encouragement to other singles out there who desire the same for themselves in their lives so that they might learn to be happy and not depressed at the thought of being single. I am learning to count the blessings of having a single life rather than mope about the fact that I have no one to share my life with. If I find someone someday that I’ll want to spend the rest of my life with, then great! But in the mean time, I’m going to be happy about being on my own and not attached to anyone and free from the meat market of the dating world.

Now on to my life as a single:

Saturday, I and my brother had two very successful Pirate shows and were told once again that we had a very professional show, I also was informed not only that I have a beautiful voice :D, but that I have amazing expressions LOL! Its always nice to get plenty of encouragement when your embarking on a new endeavor. While no fox news or reporters showed up as was a possible chance, I enjoyed myself immensely (as I usually do with each show) entertaining the kids. Two shows in a row really wiped me out and zapped every little ounce of energy I possessed.
I am looking forward to the Christmas season and will be trying out some new recipes that I’ve never tried before, I decided its time I try something new for tasting this season and not just cling to the usual which I love and feel safe with for holiday comfort. I’ll take pictures of each and every new creation and be sure to blog and post about them all. My sister is coming home from college (where she is obtaining her masters) for the holiday and we shall no doubt have several girl days of pure fun while she is here.

Sunday my family and I went to a little amusement park called “The North Pole” to celebrate my little sisters birthday. I discovered that my little sister is an adrenaline Junky and loves to do as many crazy rides as possible. We had lots of fun on all the rides and ate funnel cakes and felt like kids for a whole day. We ended the day with pizza at a new pizzeria we had never tried before and then Cake, Ice cream and presents at home. To add the cherry on top of the very fun day, we watched one of my sisters presents “Kit” the new American girl movie. Today I’ve been enjoying the lovely fall whether we’ve been having and took a nice brisk walk in the sun and cool air. Now I’m enjoying a nice hot cup of Celestial seasonings English toffee tea with a bit of honey and so concludes my blog for the day/week :D

For lack of content

2008-11-17T13:29:00.000-06:00

It is heresy in America to embrace any way of life except as half of a couple. Solitude is un-American. It may be condoned in a man -- especially if he is a "glamorous bachelor" who "dates starlets" during a brief interval between marriages. But a woman is always presumed to be alone as a result of abandonment, not choice. And she is treated that way: as a pariah. There is simply no dignified way for a woman to live alone. Oh, she can get along financially perhaps (although not nearly as well as a man), but emotionally she is never left in peace. Her friends, her family, her fellow workers never let her forget that her husbandlessness, her childlessness -- her selfishness, in short -- is a reproach to the American way of life."

Erica Jong, "Fear of Flying"

Living Life Single!

2008-11-14T00:29:00.001-06:00

Our goal is to bring singles into a new mind set and outlook on their single status. Being single is not evil and it is something to embrace and enjoy. We are not against marriage, but we encourage a mindset where one finds inner peace in their singleness and does not grieve over it. Having once been an unhappy single myself, I speak from experience when I say life is fuller and much more beautiful now that I don’t worry about whether or not I will ever marry.

Finding peace in singleness is about finding joy in everything you do have already: family, friends, faith, and career. Don’t let people pressure you into dating, and don’t wait till a spouse/lover comes into your life to do the things you've always wanted. Climb Mt. Everest, swim the channel, backpack through China, make that million you’ve always wanted and help that charity you’ve always wanted to help, if you are waiting, because you’re afraid you'll miss Mr. or Mrs. Right, then chances are, you won't ever get the chance or time again to do it.

When we say single, we really mean single! None of this “oh I’m dating that guy and oh that one too“! No none of that, we really enjoy being blissfully single and live life to its fullest. We both live in two different states and see each other when one or the other gets a chance to travel. Its all really been a lesson in progress learning the real beauty of singleness! Were not against men at all, but find remaining unattached to one has given us the freedom to say, “oh I’m heading off to India in a year”, or for the other to say, “I’ll be studying pre-law in the fall after I’ve experimented with running my own business of doing comedy/musical shows for kids for a bit“.
No emotional drama or feelings getting hurt, or anyone having to worry about offending anyone. We can take off whenever we want, or try out something new if we so desire. I admire those who want to be married and have a family and live that life, there was a time I wanted that too and maybe one day will want it again! I have no problem with anyone who desires that life at all, considering both of our families had great parents who have been married for years and never were formerly married to anyone and will continue to stay married to each other till they die!
Many people rarely get to enjoy the blissfulness in not being tied to someone at some point in time, because the world has tried to convince those who are single that it is a bad thing and that they must date if they are not married. This blog is to tell about our travels, our experiences and our adventures as single women, to encourage other single people out there to enjoy life without a partner of any kind, and to ignore anyone who might try to tell you that you need someone to be happy. We invite you to read this blog at your own risk, and to enjoy our journey with us, as we relate each story about both our lives whether the stories are separate or join up from time to time! We also will put down our thoughts of things past or present happening in our world, and whatever else may cross our minds at any given moment!